It’s Friday, so it’s time for part two of the on-going series of how NOT to run a successful software development company.
Don’t pay your workers
Times get tough. Maybe a contract didn’t get paid on time. Maybe someone made a gianormous accounting error (to the tune of $20,000). Hell, maybe you needed a new LCD TV for your bathroom. In any case, the coffers are dry. But don’t fret! You don’t have to actually pay your workers! Dedicated personnel don’t do their jobs for the money, so they won’t even care. And everyone has at least four or five other income streams, so you don’t even need to bother warning anyone. When it comes time to hand out paychecks, just tell them “Oh by the way, you know you’re paycheck? Well, you’re not getting one this month.” If anyone complains, that just means they aren’t dedicated to your or your company, and you don’t need them anyway!
It is perfectly acceptable to have this happen a couple of times a year. If it starts to happen more than that, just promise to pay everyone back later with interest to the tune of like 0.25%. That’s on par with what most banks give nowadays anyway, so you’re really doing everyone a favor by helping them save money.
The bottom line is this: your workers should be doing their jobs because they love them, not because they need to earn a living. Keeping the money flowing should be at the bottom of your priorities. You have more important things to do, like reminding the developers that they suck. If developers start leaving because they are frustrated with the financial instability, just say “good riddance!” Remember, good developers grow on trees, especially those that will work in a hellish environment (see post 1) without a guarantee of getting paid.